I look better un-naked...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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