There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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