a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
even my farts smell like vagina
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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