Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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