I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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