Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
These tits shall not be calmed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
