you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
