All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
