To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I need to calm my uterus...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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