i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
