i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
