That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
