Ambien. No doubt about it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
