the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize