Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
