Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
