So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
