If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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