He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
