You're my little dorito
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
