Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
