Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize