It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
