this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i out mim tonsoeep
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