And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
