Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
