Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
