Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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