If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
