quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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