Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize