My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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