What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
