I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
