We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize