Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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