I love black thongs
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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