Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
