I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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