His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
