he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize