You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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