Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize