his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's shark week go big or go home
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