I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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