ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
