i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize