My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
