Where is the hickey?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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