it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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