Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I want her autograph on my taint
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
