found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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