everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
