Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Randomize
