listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
