I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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