During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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