He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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