I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
