as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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