I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
