yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
