Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize