I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize