im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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