Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Randomize
