What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I would ride that face into the sunset
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
