who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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