even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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