Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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