My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize