It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize