just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
