im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
