MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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