Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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