just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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