so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
