That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize