Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
