you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
