You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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