he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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